If you email this they will be posted here, attributed by your Christian name and the initial of your surname unless you say otherwise. Last updated 14 July 2001.
The Bishop of Kensigton's remarks at Pentecost are here.
Dearest Padge
I've been asked to write a tribute to you but I can't think where to begin to
summarise the amazing person you were. From that first bottle of gin we shared
together, when you started at St Andrew's, to the last evening we had here in
Birch just a few weeks ago, some 12 years have passed.
During that time, Maxi came into your life, Martin and Letty came into mine,
you buried my mother, your father, helped me with the loss of my baby and changed
the lives of so many people at St Andrew's. I have spoken to George, Una, your
mother (sorry I didn't know Simon) and they all feel so lost without you. So
many people miss you in a way that I'm not sure you would allow yourself to
believe.
This is a tribute from me, though, so I have to tell you what you meant to me.
We always said that we felt like family and now you've gone, that feels stronger
than ever. Daddy and Stef both immediately said that they wanted to come to
your funeral and Martin got furious with the press coverage and wrote an email
trying to right things. So many of my friends that you knew have rung, incredulous
at what has happened to you. All have wanted to attest to the person you were,
not the stuff that that the press has chosen to publish. As for Letty, well,
the greatest tragedy is that she will never have known her godfather. We're
going to try very hard to keep your memory alive for her.
In short, you were so intelligent, so bright, funny, quick, well informed, caring,
outrageous, mad, full of life, Catholic in an Anglican sort of way, loving,
emotional and you gave the best nights out in London. I'm sorry we argued sometimes
- your family have said that if we haven't argued with you, we haven't known
you. Dearest Padge, I've forgotten so many things I could have said. We just
miss you so much and wish you could have spent more time with us.
May you rest in peace with God (and Maxi). All my love LoLo xxxx
Remembering Father David immediately brings to mind varied, fond images: laughter,
wry commentary, fervour, a faithful dog and a pint of Fosters and a voice which
a West End lead actor would envy. Yet the most enduring image somehow is of
his calling the flock to Communion with a "receive the body of Christ, become
the body of Christ" that seemed a welcoming, challenging call rather than
a liturgical formula. He had a sense of joy about him, untouched by any flavour
of posturing or smugness, which was quite a strength to remember in the days
when, after years away from church attendance, this disillusioned soul was seeking
to ease her way back.
It is difficult to explain the sense Father David gave of having so integrated
the gospel into his way of thinking that it was clear without being consciously
displayed. Those who are striving to set a good example tend to make one run
for cover, where Father David's very natural embrace of genuine Christianity
made it appear that it would be a joyous path. Once, when a friend who is both
agnostic and anti-clerical accompanied me to St Andrew's, his sole exposure
to Father David having been one sermon and a brief conversation, I was amazed
at my friend's telling me later that he would like to meet with him to discuss
problems in his personal life!
Just a few weeks ago, Father David and I had an extended conversation, during
which I enjoyed the company of the wry comedian, Oxford scholar, local good
shepherd, and concerned friend in turn. In the midst of an exchange that was
a blend of a humour contest and a capsule course in theology ancient and modern,
I admitted my huge discouragement now, because my own service of the poor had
left me with many a scar. Though his answers were delivered in a light-hearted
manner, it strengthened me when he reminded me of the very diverse group of
people with whom Christ shared fellowship - and (this seems chillingly prophetic
now) what sort of a response he received.
Father David seemed to naturally see the good in others, for all of his total
honesty about the less-than-attractive qualities they might possess. It saddens
me to know that this openness and love may have led to the manner in which he
died, yet deeply moves me knowing how often he was a mirror of the gospel's
charity. His enthusiasm and warmth (we had no deadpan stereotype of Anglo-Catholicism
here!) would make sheep of any variety feel they already were part of a fold
which welcomed them unconditionally.
Where one sees love and joy, Christ seems very near. (There is little more refreshing
that laughing during a sermon that sets forth truth while making it seem a tasty
rather than bitter tonic.) It was my privilege to see how well Father David
lived Christian joy and love so well. Elizabeth M
To Everyone at Saint Andrew's We were greatly grieved to hear
of the terrible death of Father David Paget. I first visited St Andrew's in
1997 with my husband John Diesendorf, son Martin and sister Roberta Hamilton
for the Baptism of my grandson, little Henry Qian Li. We were immediately made
to feel not strangers in your midst, but one with you all, as part of the world
wide family of God. It is not every congregation that has the ability to make
newcomers feel so much at home. Although it reflects on the congregation as
a whole, I am sure that this wonderful feeling was in large part engendered
by the attitudes and preaching of Father David.
He was a man who went straight to our hearts! He welcomed us as if we were old
friends! We were made to feel interesting and valued! We looked around the congregation
and saw such a rich variety of people in communion with each other. We were
not embarrassed when our restless boy made a bit of a clatter. We were not overawed
by the solemnity or patronised by the sermon. We were on the other hand delighted
by the combination of tradition and informality in Father David's style of service.
Since then my son Martin and I have been back to worship at St Andrew's in April
2000 and found it like home away from home. Father David's ministry was also
of incalcuable value to my two nieces, Bryony and Jessamy on their stay in London
over winter. They saw wonderful and enjoyable aspects of church life which we
are often deprived of here in the embattled Diocese of Sydney.
Father David Paget was a very ordinary, humble sinner on one hand and a very
special and enlightened saint on the other. In both his personal humility and
in his enlightened leadership he revealed Christ to us. The sadness and the
sense of loss at Father David's passing goes far beyond the parish boundaries
and his close family and friends. We are praying for you at this sad time. TamsynT
I am a member of the Vassar College Choir, and was shocked and saddened to hear of Father David's murder. Although I met him only once, and for a very short time, his genuine care for his parish and his parishoners struck me to the core. A one-time seminary student myself, Father David's dedication to his calling and to God were truly inspiring. I remember first walking into St. Andrews and being struck by something Father David said to me when I commented on the style of the church, something that I remembered for the rest of the day and during the concert, and quickly wrote down as soon as I had the ability - "What I was struck by when I first came to St. Andrews was the doors. God meant for those doors to be open to all, no matter their creed or race. He serves us, we serve him. I serve the parish's needs, they serve mine. The doors open in, certainly, but they also open out." Father David was dedicated to his parish in ways I had never imagined possible or seen in a priest before. He caused me to rethink my decisions regarding the ministry and recentered my faith, and for that I will always thank him and remember him, wherever he may be. Jeffrey B
I am terribly sorry to hear of Fr. David's tragic passing. As a member of the Vassar College Choir, which stopped at your church on our tour of England last March, I very fondly remember Fr. David, though our interaction was brief. He was extremely gregarious, and welcomed us to your church with open arms. I can only imagine the sense of your loss and bereavement. I'm sure I can speak for the entire Vassar choir, which so happily met Fr. David for just that one evening, in extending my sympathy. Patrick C
We only knew Father David for a very short space of time- the three months
we were visiting London over Christmas 2000. In that time Father David made
an enormous impression on both our lives. We had heard all about Father David
from our cousin Thomas, and our aunt and mother -who had only met Father David
once - and were told with out a shadow of a doubt we would "love him!" His love
and generosity towards everyone amazed us both. He was very approachable. We
felt immediately welcomed into the church community - not only by Father David,
but by everyone. His obvious commitment, not only to his church community, but
to the wider community, was seen and admired by us as we saw it in action. Christmas
lunch at the vicarage will be a event we will never forget!
Coming from the Sydney Anglican diocese the style of worship at St. Andrews
is very different to what we are used to. We were refreshed by Father David's
passion which inspired his practical sermons and his relaxed attitude during
the services made them very personal. We were looking forward to visiting and
worshiping at St. Andrews again. It is hard to put into words the impact that
Father David had on our lives. We were changed and blessed by the time we spent
within the church community at St. Andrews.
We will never forget Father David, his love, wit and most of all his desire
to serve God. Jessamy and Bryony H
There are no words to express the sadness of Fr David's passing from this world
or neat answers to the manner of his passing. We shall just have to have the
same faith and trust in God as he did and be assured (by his teaching) that
he is certainly in the nearer presence of the God whom he sought with all his
heart to love and serve. You, the people of St Andrew's were most fortunate
(I think blessed) in having Fr David as your Parish Priest and although I had
not seen him for some years, I feel a great sense of loss and wonder how much
more is yours but I know that the Compassionate Father will, by the Holy Spirit,
bring comfort even in this dark hour.
I first knew Fr David when he came to the town of Sheerness as young Mr Paget
about to be made Deacon and to serve his Title at Holy Trinity under a dynamic
Parish Priest. He was a wee bitty nervous and very serious! During his diaconal
year we saw something of his wit and wisdom but he was still feeling his way.
Many tricks were played upon him, such as sending him to the "red light" pubs
but needless to say the joke was on us. By the time of his priesting we saw
much more of his wit (and felt it also), of his love of God and his deep compassion.
Came the day when the Vicar moved to a new parish having appointed me Fr David's
"minder." I'm not sure who the real minder was for in those days he did not
drink Fosters but Hurllimans (is that the right spelling?) but known to all
hooligan's and it was usually he who carried me out (no mean task, I am 6 foot
and at that time, 15 stone). BUT he was still too serious and pretty deep although
of great help to me as I struggled with essays after some years away from formal
education and through many long conversations came to know of the man you knew
and loved so well.
Came the glorious day when David proved he really was human. He came to my house
for Sunday lunch (via the pub of course) the wit flowed like wine (most of it
at my expense), he ate like a horse, polished off a very large "family size"
jar of home-made pickled onions, made rude noises and then slept like a babe
until time for Evensong. I had, at last, discovered the human but totally mad
cleric (and he called me Rasputin!).
There were some fools that Fr David did not suffer gladly. Preparing for the
induction of the new Vicar, the Rural Dean decreed that David should wear choir
dress instead of priest’s apparel which was like a red rag to a bull. Despite
protests the Dean insisted but our David got his way (well most of it). He told
the Dean that he was entitled to wear three academic hoods and would do so at
the induction. Checking upon the legalities the Dean admitted (partial) defeat
and although not entirely happy, our David was the only priest in cotta and
stole.
Fr David survived Sheerness which meant he would survive anywhere and once away
from the "training" parish he rapidly matured as a priest, I delighted to hear
from and of him but sadly lost touch when he moved from Bedfont and I later
moved to Lincoln. Eventually I bought a a copy of Crockford's and found him
to be at St Andrew's. Some years had passed but I was not over concerned as
I knew that when I arrived on his doorstep there would be a welcome but I left
it too late and I shall not see him again in this world. There shall always
be the memory of a witty, Oxford educated (but in no way stuck-up) compassionate
Priest who knew the risks (and taught me to do the same) to be taken for Christ
in order to be true to his name. Fr Bill B
When I moved to the Parish of St. Andrews Fulham Fields on the 27.9.91. one
of the first plans in my "new life" was to visit my local church. Two days later
I was there. And what a discovery! An abundant congregation, singing heartily
led by an enthusiastic vicar, speaking audibly! The words of the service floated
in on a wave of passion. There was no rush to leave; "Come through to the Parish
Breakfast and continue the fellowship". Often breakfast became lunch, tea, dinner.
At St Andrews we are a family. We pray together, we sing together, we eat together,
we wash up, we argue, we make up, we make money, we share problems, we laugh.
Yesterday we said goodbye to David our much-loved priest. The beauty of the
funeral service(and the weather!) befitted this momentous occasion. Today my
family and I said good morning to David. We feel sad. But another baby was baptised
in the church and the sun is still shining. Yesterday the Bishop of Kensington
said that David had "turned a corner" and that he is now with God. All those
who knew him have turned a corner in our lives, but we still have each other
and he will always be in our hearts and memories.
Just a year ago we celebrated "Appreciation of the Clergy Week" during which
David was feted and we all had fun doing it. As my personal contribution I was
honoured to be asked to write a song for him which I sang to him (and the congregation!)
exactly a year ago today. Although it cannot begin to encapsulate the entire
enigmatic spirit of the man I enclose it here with deep
love and respect for my friend and companion David Paget. Pam T
Father David Thank you for your joy, wisdom, sense of humour, and for making everyone feel welcome, particularly when I was on my own in London. I attended your church 1993/1994 when I lived in London, and again attended my friend Glenyss and Julian's blessing in 1995 and the christening of their daughter Lucy in 1997. May you rest in peace. Jane C
I always thought of him as 'Brother David' , my dear friend from school days - always thoughtful, generous and seriously funny - even at 17 years old. My 18th birthday party concluded with Dave and a group of friends discussing death with my Uncle. Dave felt it was important to be 'comfortable' with death - and I know he was - this is my comfort in these weeks after his death and I hope it will comfort others too. My husband - another David - was ordained as an Anglican priest two weeks ago - one apostle of faith may end his ministry, but another will take up the cross and care for souls. Brother David you are much loved and are never forgotten. Elizabeth S